Home Sweet Home

Imagine, if you will, living in a house you bought and paid for. You have worked hard, married, and raised your children in that house. To you, that is HOME. It doesn’t have to be big, it could be an apartment, never the less, it is yours. You have retired to enjoy the “golden years” and the remainder of your life. All of a sudden something as devastating as a stroke or accident leaves you unable to care for yourself. You recover in the hospital but further rehabilitation is required. You are transferred to a Rehab facility for up to three weeks of rehab, after which you fully expect to return home. But it is soon discovered that you cannot return home. Your spouse cannot care for your needs, you did not progress as the doctor would have hoped, or any number of reasons hinders your return. You are then transferred to the long term care wing and your new HOME, 200 N. Pine Ave, Jefferson Rehab and Health Facility, or any other long term care facility in your neighborhood. You are sharing a room with a perfect stranger. Your room is no bigger than a regular hospital room with a bed, television, and a night stand. You are allowed visitors, but this is not home, then again, it IS home.
They are called residents, not patients. Several reasons bring them here. Alzheimer’s disease, chronic illnesses, even old age. Whatever the reason they cannot care for themselves and family is not available, some 125 persons call 200 N. Pine Ave home. We all know or have known someone living in a nursing home but have we really LOOKED into their psyche regarding their new home? They may try to decorate to feel more at home but it is never the same. They get visitors but the grandchildren can never spend the night again. They cannot bake cookies, or even go fishing. They are being told, when, where, and what to eat, when to bathe, and what activities are available. Some are quite functional while others rely on someone for most of their activities of daily living. This may seem quite restricting and for some it is, but because of the care that is required this is often the best option.
I am volunteering at Jefferson Rehab as part of a field observation requirement for one of my Social Work classes. I have noticed the staff working with the residents with respect and care. They have activities scheduled for the residents and a Valentines Day Banquet was held for them. Most residents eat in the common dining room and they have made friends with one another. Once a month the facility sponsors a Pot Luck dinner and encourages family to bring dishes that are not usually served, ones the residents may be missing. This can bring bittersweet memories I would imagine. Sometimes it is easier to not be reminded of what you are missing. At other times, the memories are good.
Once again, the stereotype that older persons are set in their ways is dispelled. This is not the option that they may have picked for themselves, but it is where they are, and they are making the best of it. I realize other cultures, Asian and the Amish, for instance, would frown deeply at the thought of putting ones elderly family member in such a facility. The American culture sees no problem with it. As large a land space as the United States is, moving to other areas of the country is a very real possibility. And some would argue that we as Americans are very selfish, and do not want to be bothered with our elderly and ill family members. It is easier to place them in a home and pay the bill. One way of out of sight, out of mind. Until the day comes that family member is declining and you must face facts.
I would recommend when we are faced with this dilemma to research the facility extensively and make surprise visits. Do not be intimidated by the staff, that is YOUR family member, and you always want the best for them.